After all the abuse, after all the tears, the fear and the pain, her day in court finally came. This was her chance to get the justice she deserved, she kept thinking. He was the one in the wrong, right? He was the one who deserved to be punished, and this was the day she would be set free. The truth would prevail and justice would be served.

Will it help
Will his punishment ease my pain
Will the truth set me free?
Through all this will I get my life back
Or is it gone forever?
He is guilty
He deserves to be punished
He deserves to pay for what he's done
He deserves to be put away.
This is my day in court
This is his day of reckoning! abused angel

Her anger needed justice, her pain needed justice, all her sleepless nights, all her nightmares and all her tears needed justice. Her heart needed to believe through all her pain there was justice. He deserved to pay for stealing her innocence, for making nightmares out of her dreams and for turning her warm tender heart cold. She wanted, needed justice and for him to receive his judgment.

Justice is what she needed, but her nightmare from him wasn't over. Instead of the court focusing on the evil he had done, the focus was turned on her. She was the slut, the liar, and the guilty one in this court. It was her fault.

Isn't this suppose to be my day
My day in court
My day of justice
Isn't this my day to set the record straight
To set aside the past
For the truth to set me free
From this dungeon
From this nightmare
And move forward
Isn't this suppose to be my day? abused angel

It should have been her day in court, her day to set the record straight, but truth was absent that day. Truth had been hijacked, perverted by evil wearing a mask of goodness. It was like she was trapped in an evil version of Alice in Wonderland. Hadn't she suffered enough, how did she become the liar, the face of deception, and the one forced to take the blame.

It feels so dark
They have made me feel so dirty
So angry
Am I the guilty one
Am I to blame
Is it my fault
Have they blurred the lines
Between right and wrong
Have they distorted the truth
Until it can't be seen
Until it can't be recognized
It feels so dark
And I feel so lost. abused angel

When you summon the courage to bring the truth to light, when you bring it to those who uphold the truth and they don't recognize it, what's left? Does she keep fighting, does she keep submitting herself to the lies and humiliation or back off? Does truth have any chance of winning?

She fights, adding more scars to her tattered heart and less sleep to her nights. She fights with the perceptions of others, with the depression deep in her soul, and faint hope that justice will be served. She struggles with the darkness, with the alienation of her friends and family, and all the lies and accusations.

Am I a bad person
Am I unworthy of love
Am I meant to be alone
With only the darkness as my friend?
Tears and nightmares my companions
Is there no refuge for me
No arms to hold me
No words to encourage me
No one to warm this cold heart
To heal my shattered soul
To bring a melody of hope
Am I that bad a person? abused angel

By a twist of fate or an unveiling of the truth, justice finally comes. Does it bring the light, or restore her innocence, or bring back the love? No. Does it dispel the darkness, or take away the nightmares, or dry up the tears? No. Does it bring encouragement to her troubled soul, worth to her battered heart, or the elusive peace she so desires? No. All it brings is justice, the rest is up to her.



Chapter 22 "A Cry For Help "

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