Awaking with a scream, in a cold sweat with vivid nightmares still running through her memories. Trying to shake the feelings, trying to forget the images that provoke so many painful emotions. Every night the demons come to torture her, to take away any chance of sleep or peace. When exhaustion forces her to sleep, they are waiting with evil smiles and all the tricks at their disposal.

Exhaustion grabs a hold
Pulls me down into my warm bed
To sleep
Perchance to dream
But there they await
The demons of the night
Fed by fear
To awake the screams inside
To bring into my dreams
Painful emotions
To torture me
Rob me of sleep
. an abused angel

She can't escape the nightmares for she has tried. She fears exhaustion because then she will have to sleep, or can it really be called sleep? More like an unconsciousness state for a little while until they come. She wonders how long she can go on like this, yet it seems like it has been forever. Was there ever another way or will there ever be anything else? Most of the time she has stopped wondering, stopped hoping for something different because hope is a luxury in her life, one that will only bring disappointment.

The dawn before the light
The twilight before the night
The clouds before the rain
The silence before the pain
The blueness of my tears
The darkness of my fears
My world spinning around
Unable to touch the ground
The howling of the wind
The evil screams of sin
As I lay here on my bed
Nightmares fill my head
And the darkness of the night
Has robbed my world of sight.
.. an abused angel

In the stillness of that one moment, lying on her bed, exhausted and just before unconsciousness she remembers. The screams and pain are there until she enters sleep for just a short time before the nightmares come. The nightmares torture her mind until she can no long sleep.

In the realm of her nightmares is where she subconsciously takes out her anger. Thrashing furiously as if she is battling to stay alive. Her body driven by years of suppressed pain is fighting to breath, to chase away the demons in one single night, yet it happens night after night.

She has forgotten what peaceful sleep is, but in a distant memory remembers and longs to feel its embrace once again. In her dreams she sees him sleeping, peacefully dreaming and wishes to share it. So easily he escapes into the magical world she has missed and she envies him. She sees the peaceful way he sleeps, his relaxed breathing, and maybe a glimpse of a smile on his lips.

I love to watch you sleep
Laying there so peaceful
Off in another world
A mystical, magical world
You look so tranquil
I want to lay down with you
To join your dreams
To see what you see
To feel what you feel
To share your magical world
To feel the peace you feel
To feel the feeling of sleep
I love to watch you sleep
. an abused angel

In her dreams there is sleep, wrapped in the safe arms of her lover. The one who can chase away the demons and bring her a love that will cast out all the fears. A love that will turn her bed into a place of peaceful dreams, a sanctuary of healing and a magic carpet ride of sleep. For now it is only a fantasy, only found somewhere over the rainbow.



Chapter 6 "Over The Rainbow "


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